Probation Story

One day in August 2022, I start my journey in my ex-office and at the early stage everything is okay yet in the middle everything turns into chaos when I started to struggle with the tasks, anxiety, and depression. It’s hard yet quite exhilarating with all the challenges and skills that I learn in my ex-office, however this thing isn’t the most beautiful story.

All the things started from the day I got into the office in August 22nd, 2022 when the people gave their warm welcome with joy and kindness. By the time, all the shadows shows the real face behind the mask with crazy workload and less understanding between each other, they start compare me with another newbie then I realize that ex-office isn’t that positive since they already show the sign of toxic habit.

Days goes on, and I keep doing the masking shows with my work which is hard to do, one day I cry when everyone is out for lunch. All the things that I feel is burden, depression, anxiety, and a lot of overthinking with more insecurity, however all I can do is stay strong and keep doing the work for the sake of my financial needs.

Then in the sequence of time, the truth is open when my performance start to decrease with more mistake, to be honest I don’t want that to happen but it’s beyond my control. This thing happen isn’t come out of the blue because of my incapability, yet this thing happen because of my mental state the anxiety and depression started to affecting my daily life and my work performance.

Although I can’t perform well in my probation this time they still gave me another chance to fix my mistake, that opportunity keep me running while my brain is bleeding severely when I started to push myself beyond my limit. Then, they gave me another warning it just happened all the time till they tell me that I’m not going to continue this probation in October 29th 2022.

At first, it feels okay but then I got more devastated which make feel tired all the time from Tuesday till today. Well, I also feel thankful for this situation with all the lesson, experience, and network that I’ve got in my ex-company.

-W-

#Probation #worklife #journey